The Bradnam Blog

Filed under: iphone

All Mashed Up – why can't tech writers show some common sense?

The big day finally arrived today, the launch of a new iPhone from Apple. After a lot of speculation, and with about 30 minutes to go before the keynote started at Apple HQ, Mashable posted this piece:

The New iPhone Is Coming and I Don’t Want It

The timing of this post bears repeating. Before anyone had actually seen the new iPhone, or knew exactly what features it would or wouldn't be getting, Lance Ulanoff waded in with his opinion. If he waited just two more hours, he would have been in a better position to write something about the actual product vs the not-yet-released product.

He opines "I love the look of my iPhone, so why do I need the teardrop shape?". Yes, that's the 'teardrop shape' of the imaginary iPhone 5 that never came to be. He concludes by saying "I do not need the iPhone 5". He also admits earlier in the article that he owns a two month old iPhone 4. So I think we can best conclude this entire non-piece as:

Man with almost-new iPhone, won't be buying new iPhone.

Not to be outdone, Mashable waded in with several more iPhone-related pieces later in the day, including this one:

iPhone 5 A No-Show: Did Apple Fail To Manage Expectations?

This piece concludes with a particular poignant question "Does this mean we have to endure one more year of iPhone 5 rumors?".

Those pesky iPhone 5 rumors. The rumors that Mashable clearly hates and woud have no role in propagating. Rumors based on speculation rather than fact. So you can magine my surprise when I searched Mashable's website for 'iPhone 5'. Surely, they would have barely mentioned this purely hypothetical product? There couldn't be anything written about it by Mashable that could fuel those tiresome rumors. Oh what's that you say Mashable search engine result? 

Search Results for 'iPhone 5': About 33,100 results

This may be an inaccurate number reflecting some glitch in their search engine, but the search still returns ten pages of iPhone 5 related stories including:

iPhone 5 Could Be Thinner & Wider [PICS] - Mashable

iPhone 5 Rumor Round-Up: Bigger Screen, Better ... - Mashable

Fresh Rumors: iPhone 5 To Have Metal Back, NFC? - Mashable

Two New iPhone 5 Clues Point to Separate Camera Flash - Mashable

iPhone 5 Countdown: When Can You Actually Buy One? - Mashable

The iPhone 5 Rumor Mill Kicks Into High Gear - Mashable

Etc. Etc. Etc.

An exclusive look at how Apple will 'fix' the iPhone 4

Two weeks ago Apple took their first steps in damage limitation over the growing backlash over the now infamous Death Grip problem. Initially they  acknowledged a software problem that was responsible for the iPhone 4 not showing the correct signal strength, but claimed that all phones suffer a loss in signal when held. However, this was not been enough to quell the storm, and after Consumer Reports decided that they could not recommend the new iPhone, Apple has decided to announce an iPhone 4 press conference that will take place tomorrow. Such an event is without precedent in Apple's history and many speculators have been wondering what Apple will say or do to address the problem. I can now exclusively reveal that after weeks of brainstorming, Apple's top engineers have come up with the following solution which they are calling a 'High contrast, adhesive-based, instructional messaging system'. You and I might know them as 'warning stickers': 

Pastedgraphic-1

These adhesive labels will be supplied, at no cost, to all customers who have already purchased an iPhone 4 and will be offered as an additional extra to future customers for a modest charge of $0.99. Apple's CEO, Steve Jobs, is expected to tell the gathered media tomorrow that these stickers...ahem, I mean the high contrast, adhesive-based, instructional messaging system will deliver an unparalleled visual feedback mechanism which if used properly will deliver increased signal strength whilst leaving the iPhone's sleek form factor unchanged. It is also expected that senior vice president of industrial design, Jonathan Ive, will appear in a video wearing a grey T-shirt and gesticulating wildly with his hands, while very possibly using the word 'magical'.
Posterous theme by Cory Watilo
  
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