Two weeks ago Apple took their first steps in damage limitation over the growing backlash over the now infamous Death Grip problem. Initially they  acknowledged a software problem that was responsible for the iPhone 4 not showing the correct signal strength, but claimed that all phones suffer a loss in signal when held. However, this was not been enough to quell the storm, and after Consumer Reports decided that they could not recommend the new iPhone, Apple has decided to announce an iPhone 4 press conference that will take place tomorrow. Such an event is without precedent in Apple's history and many speculators have been wondering what Apple will say or do to address the problem. I can now exclusively reveal that after weeks of brainstorming, Apple's top engineers have come up with the following solution which they are calling a 'High contrast, adhesive-based, instructional messaging system'. You and I might know them as 'warning stickers': 

These adhesive labels will be supplied, at no cost, to all customers who have already purchased an iPhone 4 and will be offered as an additional extra to future customers for a modest charge of $0.99. Apple's CEO, Steve Jobs, is expected to tell the gathered media tomorrow that these stickers...ahem, I mean the high contrast, adhesive-based, instructional messaging system will deliver an unparalleled visual feedback mechanism which if used properly will deliver increased signal strength whilst leaving the iPhone's sleek form factor unchanged. It is also expected that senior vice president of industrial design, Jonathan Ive, will appear in a video wearing a grey T-shirt and gesticulating wildly with his hands, while very possibly using the word 'magical'.